As a sleep coach, have you ever questioned whether the mainstream sleep methods you’ve been taught are truly the best way forward? Do you sometimes wonder if there’s a more compassionate, evidence-based approach that can create deeper connections with families while delivering better results?

The process of unlearning outdated sleep myths can feel challenging, especially when these methods have been considered standard practice for so long. But it’s in this unlearning that real transformation happens—both for you as a coach and for the families you support. By embracing holistic sleep coaching, you can offer responsive, science-backed solutions that respect each family’s unique needs.

In this blog, we’ll explore how letting go of old habits and shifting to a more holistic, evidence-based practice can empower your coaching journey. If you’re ready to move beyond cookie-cutter strategies and explore a new way of thinking about sleep, keep reading. Or, for a deeper dive into this transformation, watch the full video guide here.

Table of Contents

• Why Might There Be a Need to UNlearn?
• Mainstream Sleep Consultant Education: Common Myths
• What Happens When Sleep Coaches Start Reading More Widely?
• The Response to the Learning Gap: Facing the Discomfort
• Realising the Unlearning: The Untangling Process
• How to Move Forward: Becoming a Better Sleep Coach

Why Might There Be a Need to UNlearn?

Sleep support comes in different forms and styles.

Not every sleep coach starts off dedicated to responsive sleep coaching. There are many different types of training programs, each offering varying approaches, from rigid, mainstream methods to more holistic and responsive techniques. And that’s okay—different coaches are trained in different philosophies, just as different families seek different types of sleep support.

Do different parents require different approaches to sleep coaching?
Absolutely. Some parents prefer a wait-it-out method, while others may opt for cry-it-out or a middle-ground approach. It’s their right to choose what feels best for their family, even if we might not always agree with that approach. That’s why you’ll see a wide variety of sleep coaches, each offering tailored services to meet these different needs.

What’s the issue with mainstream sleep training programs?
The challenge comes when programs teach methods that lack an evidence-based foundation. It’s one thing for coaches to offer varying types of support, but this becomes a problem when false information is passed on to coaches-in-training. This doesn’t serve families or the professionals trying to help them.

Mainstream Sleep Consultant Education

What are some common myths taught in mainstream sleep training?
If you’re aware of mainstream sleep training, you’ve likely encountered a lot of cookie-cutter advice. You’ve probably heard things like:

• Set wake windows for every baby
• Follow a strict 7-7 sleep schedule
• Prescribe long naps in a completely dark room
• Naps should always be a specific length
• Sleep regressions are unavoidable
• Overemphasis on overtiredness

Why are these methods problematic?
The issue isn’t that these ideas exist, but that they’re often taught as absolute truths without any balance or nuance. Many of these approaches are based on personal experience rather than solid science. And this brings us to something called the illusory truth effect.

What is the illusory truth effect in sleep coaching?
The illusory truth effect is the tendency to believe something simply because it’s been repeated so often. For example, you’ve probably heard the phrase “sleep breeds sleep”—which, by the way, isn’t true. But after hearing it over and over, it starts to sound like a fact, even if there’s no real evidence to support it.

Why is it uncomfortable to challenge familiar concepts?
When we start to question these familiar ideas, it can feel uncomfortable because it forces us to reconsider what we thought was true. This discomfort comes from having to let go of old beliefs and adopt new, more evidence-based perspectives.

What Happens When You Start to Read More Widely?

What happens when sleep coaches start questioning what they’ve learned?

Let me share a story about someone I’ll call Kelly. Kelly’s story is one I hear frequently. She messaged me on social media, wanting to fact-check something she had learned in her mainstream sleep consultant training about sleep pressure and objective fatigue. After reading some of my posts, she began to feel unsure about what she had been taught.

Kelly wondered if there was a way for the two truths to coexist or if one of them was just wrong. Her growing doubts led her to question many of the concepts she’d once believed in, especially when it came to the biology of sleep.

How does it feel to question everything you’ve been taught?

For Kelly, and many others in her position, it’s unsettling. When you start questioning fundamental concepts, it can lead to a ripple effect where you begin doubting other things you’ve learned as well. This is a natural part of the unlearning process, but it can still be overwhelming.

The Response to the Learning Gap

How do sleep coaches react when they realize there’s a learning gap?

Reactions vary. Some people resist it entirely—it’s uncomfortable to admit that something you’ve taught or believed might be wrong. It’s easier to stick with what’s familiar, even if it isn’t working. For others, it’s more than discomfort. Realizing you might have passed on incorrect information can trigger feelings of defensiveness or even anger. After all, it’s tough to acknowledge that someone else might know more or have a better approach.

Why do some sleep coaches panic when unlearning?

For some, this realization leads to panic. They start thinking, “If this piece of information is wrong, what else could be wrong?” It can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them, as one flawed concept often calls other connected ideas into question. It’s natural to feel like a rabbit in the headlights when you realize how deep the misinformation might go.

Realizing the Unlearning

How did Kelly respond to realizing she had more to learn?

Kelly’s response was refreshing. After our conversation, she realized that the new, more nuanced and connected theory made sense. She was open to unlearning, and it helped her see things in a new light. In receiving just a 3-minute voice note, Kelly felt like she had learned a lot.

Why is unlearning so difficult, even for teachable people?

Even when people are open to new ideas, unlearning what you thought was true can be challenging. It’s not just about learning something new—it’s about recognizing that what you’ve believed might have been based on opinion rather than fact. That realization can feel uncomfortable, no matter how humble or gracious someone is.

What does the unlearning process feel like?

Unlearning is like untangling a ball of wool. Some knots represent ideas that lack any factual basis or scientific evidence, and you have to carefully work through them. But that doesn’t mean you throw everything out—there are still useful parts of what you’ve learned. The key is to critically evaluate each concept and ask yourself:

• Does this make sense?
• Is this backed by evidence?
• Who said this, and where did it come from?
• What’s the opposing theory?
• Is there another argument I should consider?

This is how you untangle the knots and retain only the concepts that are truly valuable and evidence-based.

How to Move Forward

How can sleep coaches move forward after unlearning outdated methods?

Unlearning is just the beginning. The next step is figuring out how to use this process to grow—not just as a sleep coach, but as a lifelong learner. How do you accept that what you’ve been taught might be patchy or incorrect in places? And more importantly, how do you fill those gaps in your knowledge?

Here are five ways to move forward in your sleep coaching journey:

1. Acknowledge that no course is perfect
   No program or learning experience is flawless. As new knowledge emerges, it’s important to stay informed and look for course providers who regularly update their information and offer ongoing learning opportunities. [Link to resources on continued education in sleep coaching]
2. Stay humble and open-minded
   No one knows everything. Being open to the possibility that you might need to adjust your approach is what makes you a safe, empathetic, and credible coach.
3. Read widely and ask ‘why’
   Don’t just stick to one perspective. Explore different viewpoints and always ask why. If someone cites a study, take the time to read it for yourself. This helps ensure that the information you rely on is evidence-based and not just anecdotal.
4. Develop your critical thinking skills
   Question everything you’re told. Is the source trustworthy? Is there any bias? How current is the information? What’s the evidence behind it? Critical thinking is essential for sorting out fact from opinion.
5. Always be teachable
   Learning is a lifelong journey. Stay teachable by seeking feedback and fact-checking when necessary. Whether that means retraining or simply remaining curious, the key is to maintain an attitude of constant growth and openness.

Kelly isn’t alone in her frustration. As we wrapped up our conversation, she expressed the same concern that many sleep coaches have—how different sleep courses can be, and how they often leave gaps in essential knowledge. Like so many others, Kelly wanted to support families in a gentle and loving way but felt held back by the outdated or incomplete information from her training.

The good news? Learning is a lifelong journey. Even if your training included some mainstream myths or outdated advice, this insider knowledge can actually become an advantage. Recognizing these gaps is the first step toward becoming a more evidence-based and holistic sleep coach.

If you’ve found yourself nodding along, remember—no experience is wasted. You have the power to move forward, to continue learning, and to evolve in your sleep coaching practice. Ready to take the next step? Explore more of our content on holistic sleep coaching, or schedule a strategy session to see how you can grow in your coaching journey.

See how our Holistic Sleep Coaching Program can help you transform your passion for helping families with sleep into a thriving career. Book a strategy call today with a real human on our team.

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FAQs: Unlearning in Sleep Coaching